1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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