doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's like iHOP with fire
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize