Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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