i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
third nipple confirmed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
