she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
3pm strippers are depressing
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
