didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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