Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
