You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
