I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize