What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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