...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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