i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
