How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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