I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
