Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
