In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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