last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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