Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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