morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
