Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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