so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
