At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
