He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
