...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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