Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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