i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
