OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize