Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
