Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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