Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
