Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
soo... how was my night?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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