I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
