PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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