I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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