i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
