keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
