I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
