Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
