paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize