i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
