I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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