we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
