I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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