you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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