it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
