It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
