I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
