are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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