Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
