Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
