the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
