Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
kristin has been a bad kristin
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
