That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
