i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
