you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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