I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
