i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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