Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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