If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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